Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Kent "Toast" French


Bravo! Bravo! Toast is the fucking man! He's the world's fastest clapper, how about you? How about that?! I'm bringing Kent here to my next party. I'll just put him next to the lamp and he'll put on a strobe light show that makes every bitch's panties wet. Also, it turns out he's the world's fastest wacker. He actually set the record for most wacks in a minute. 721 wacks in ONE minute. That's a rate of 5 nuts per second for SIXTY SECONDS. But let's get back to the clapping. I wouldn't be surprised if Toast has a CD coming out. Dude can clap a pretty snazzy tune for his warm up. I'd buy that shit. I personally don't know of a bigger rock star. Did you see how he ended that video? A double finger point. Only rock stars give the double finger point. And there is no doubt in my mind that the character in The Break Up played by John Michael Higgins is based strongly on Kent "Toast" French. Everything from looks to the love of their craft. No doubt.


Today I tip my cap to you Kent "Toast" French, you are an inspiration to us all. I hope you don't mind if I don't put up any more posts today, I'll be busy practicing my ultra fast, extreme, super fast clapping.

No comments:

Post a Comment