OK so as you already know I just spent the past few weeks living in the woods, with little to no amenities- you begin to focus on the important things, like food, water and hygiene. All three become pretty damn important, but I want to share a story with you about the last one.
*This is about to get real graphic real fast so you might want to skip this one...you've been warned*
Alright so now that you are ALL still here, because really who the hell reads disclaimers and follows them? Nobody right? it's like seeing a warning saying you will absolutely be disgusted by what you are about to see, and you can't NOT click right?
So this tragic little tale involves my balls, so again this might be your stop to get off this ride. all you other brave soles, here we go!
A little over a year ago while sweating it out in the desert of Afghanistan, I stumbled across a body powder that when applied to certain areas kept you pretty dry, A-fucking-mazing! I don't think you can fully appreciate the type of swamp dick you experience when its that hot all the time..I mean it feels like your cultivating a crock pot of stew in your undies just marinating the broth all day, horrible really. So "powdering the boys" became a daily ritual that I looked forward to, just a little bit would do, and aghhh what a difference it would make, fast forward to a few days ago- I have religiously used the stuff ever since, its that good.
So while I was out in the field, it rained- it rained a lot, we got wet and had no other choice but to sit in it.So my solution was to powder up and absorb the moisture..I must have dumped a little more than I was suppose to, and by a little I mean a whole fucking lot more! Within a day the boys were screaming! It dried the skin so bad, that the boys started peeling, looked like they belonged to an 80 year old man with nut dandruff- I couldn't keep my hands away they were so itchy! No shame in this game, I went for it with a loud, "Fuck my balls are itchy!" and just went to town on them..flakes flying up out my Cammie's, guys getting all bug eyed like, "wtf is going on in there?"- no time to explain- I had a fire in my pants and I had to put that shit out...fast, its a solid 5 minutes of straight scratching before I noticed the dryness had subsided and what I felt was wet, curious I pulled a hand out to investigate, it took but a few seconds to realize what I had done, I rubbed them raw! The look on my face was sheer terror, but from an outsiders perspective I'm positive I fucked some guys heads up pretty bad.
*This is about to get real graphic real fast so you might want to skip this one...you've been warned*
Alright so now that you are ALL still here, because really who the hell reads disclaimers and follows them? Nobody right? it's like seeing a warning saying you will absolutely be disgusted by what you are about to see, and you can't NOT click right?
So this tragic little tale involves my balls, so again this might be your stop to get off this ride. all you other brave soles, here we go!
A little over a year ago while sweating it out in the desert of Afghanistan, I stumbled across a body powder that when applied to certain areas kept you pretty dry, A-fucking-mazing! I don't think you can fully appreciate the type of swamp dick you experience when its that hot all the time..I mean it feels like your cultivating a crock pot of stew in your undies just marinating the broth all day, horrible really. So "powdering the boys" became a daily ritual that I looked forward to, just a little bit would do, and aghhh what a difference it would make, fast forward to a few days ago- I have religiously used the stuff ever since, its that good.
So while I was out in the field, it rained- it rained a lot, we got wet and had no other choice but to sit in it.So my solution was to powder up and absorb the moisture..I must have dumped a little more than I was suppose to, and by a little I mean a whole fucking lot more! Within a day the boys were screaming! It dried the skin so bad, that the boys started peeling, looked like they belonged to an 80 year old man with nut dandruff- I couldn't keep my hands away they were so itchy! No shame in this game, I went for it with a loud, "Fuck my balls are itchy!" and just went to town on them..flakes flying up out my Cammie's, guys getting all bug eyed like, "wtf is going on in there?"- no time to explain- I had a fire in my pants and I had to put that shit out...fast, its a solid 5 minutes of straight scratching before I noticed the dryness had subsided and what I felt was wet, curious I pulled a hand out to investigate, it took but a few seconds to realize what I had done, I rubbed them raw! The look on my face was sheer terror, but from an outsiders perspective I'm positive I fucked some guys heads up pretty bad.
Just left them wondering why the fuck that guy castrated himself in the middle of the woods for no apparent reason.
So many questions...so little answers.
I'd like to tell you this story ends well, but i gotta be honest, I'm still recovering- I did learn a lesson though, and hopefully by reading this you did too. A little bit of a good thing is great, but too much will leave your nuts looken like chewed up bloody bubblegum, and that's just not a good look bro!
I'd like to tell you this story ends well, but i gotta be honest, I'm still recovering- I did learn a lesson though, and hopefully by reading this you did too. A little bit of a good thing is great, but too much will leave your nuts looken like chewed up bloody bubblegum, and that's just not a good look bro!
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