Thursday, June 9, 2011

How To Ask For Oral Sex



A comprehensive guide for Men.






DO: Be extremely nice for at least two full weeks prior to asking for oral sex.



DO: Gauge her mood carefully. Pick a day when she is feeling good



DON'T: Ask on a day that she has had a bad day at work, feels sick, had a bad talk with her mother, feels fat, hair didnt turn out right, feels bloated, is too cold/hot etc.



DO: Consider giving her a nice present.



DON'T: Attach the present to your dick



DO: Taker her to dinner



DON'T: Take her to Red Lobster.



DO: When actually asking for oral sex, make every other word "please"



DON'T: Phrase your question in a disgusting way, (ie, Can I wash out your mouth with my man soap?)



DO: Beg if necessary, (it will probably be necessary)



DON'T: Wear that shirt that she hates because you were wearing it that time you were "acting like an asshole, in front of those stupid friends of yours."



DON'T: Think you can get away with making out for a while then pushing down on the top of her head.

1 comment:

  1. Very amusing but I have to ask why a man wouldn't take her to Red Lobster before getting head? or asking for it rather. Also, not sure what females have to be begged for it. Lame...But the door swings both ways, you can add this "DO"- Do eat her out. Sorry for the vulgarism but it's inevitable on this blog.

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