hearing those words may bring fond memories of the holidays, maybe some sledding and snow forts? or just curling up on the couch with a steaming cup of hot cocoa while the stalkings are hung by the crackling fireplace and the snow is melting off your partially frostbitten toes... it only means one thing to me...
ITS FUCKEN FOOTBALL SEASON!!!
pigskin, Manball, The Gridiron game of legends past... the ol pass and catch if you will, call it what you want...its all good to me... I love it just the same.
it consumes my life all week and gets every ounce of my attention on Sunday- yea I got kids...but that's what 7 hours of DVR'd Spongebob and Dora are for...by 1 o'clock on Sunday I can less if she's watching Snookie getting railed out on the Jersey Shore, as long as she does so quietly in her room... I draw the line when she starts fist pumping around the house and asking where the smush room is... but that's a problem for another day...not Sunday...
that's a Man holiday in my house!
This year, as well as the years past- I'm in a Fantasy Football league- let me clarify this for you...I'm not just in a League...I'm DOMINATING my League, just layen waste to teams left and right, "Oh, you got a decent team bro? oh you swiped a clever name off some snarky google search, how original... BAM- welcome to your demise- the Freaken Renis Pinkles are here to wreak havoc on your cerebellum!"
Yea you read that right, I named my team the Renis Pinkles, go ahead run it through the old up top shop real quick, chew it up, spit it back out- and you got PENIS RINKLES....pretty sweet visuals huh? yea that with my avatar of some creepy old Indian who looks like he spent the better part of his life in the Serengeti covered in Crisco and you got yourself a chuckle at my expense... but trust me- that's the only laughing you're doing when you play my boys...
Que the inevitable line up below, what you thought I was gonna write about Fantasy Football and NOT include a lineup? that's like watching porn without a money shot at the end... it just ruins the whole thing...
So here it is,
(QB) Drew Brees
(QB) Mathew Stafford
(WR) Steve Smith
(WR) Miles Austin
(WR) Wes Welker
(WR) Reggie Wayne
(WR) Robert Meachem
(RB) Darren McFadden
(RB) Ray Rice
(RB) Darren Sproules
(RB) Ernest Graham
(TE) Rob Gronkowski
(Def) Baltimore
(K) Janikowski
So there it is Gents, that line up might as well get retired in Canton Ohio, make a big display with each name etched in solid steal, and get someone working on that coveted yellow jacket... cause we all know I earned it...
Now some of you may be saying "wow, wow, wow, pump the breaks big guy...the season isn't over yet..."
and to you I say ..
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Let me just lay this out there right now- half of winning is all about attitude
(write that down)
if you don't have the winning attitude, well you are gonna be a loser.. sorry folks, those are the rules, I don't make them..I'm just a pawn in this game called life.
What fun is fantasy football with your buddies if you can't lay waste to their inflated ego with some smack talk, and rub his face in a lose like you do with your dog that has bad bowel control and a severe case of separation anxiety...
It's all about the small victories...each virtuous week is a voucher for a piece of your opponents soul, to be redeemed immediately...thank you very much, hope you enjoyed your stay here on Pinkles Island home of WINNING... and just like my team slogan says,
"Better luck next week"
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