Few things in this world get to me more than glitter, strange as it sounds.. I've jumped off high things, handled spiders, and been close to clowns- Hell I've been to a war zone- but when it comes to the sparkly stuff?
FUCK... THAT... SHIT!
I harbor a hard on of hate for it. I cannot truely express with words the emotions that course through my veins when I see it, and it always rears its ugly head at the most inappropriate times.. Like holidays/birthdays, it never fails, I'm opening presents, all eyes on me-everyone smiling, laughing having a good time... and BOOM! there it is.. Shows over folks- I'm pissed try again next year Lady! "what the fuck is this Mom?" as I stomp the shit out of the puppy card with glitter hearts on it into the ground..
I mean FUCK, I exercise extreme prejudice while opening holiday cards and will not hesitate to let you know that you fucked up when I see the shimmering shit that infects my fingers, hands, and skin.. it gets everywhere so fast- its worse than AIDS you just cant get rid of it...
By now everyone that I keep near and dear to me knows and understands my hate for it, but the fact that I have three young children two of them being girls, almost ensures my enslavement to the shiny nepalm for the rest of my adult life..
most of you might be thinking, "what a silly thing to hate?" and let's get one thing straight right now.. I HATE the stuff, I'm not "Afraid" of it.. there is no mutual respect or understanding of its right to exist- I cant honestly be the only one out here suffering from GlitterHate am I? speak up..lets start a group, get some t-shirts, FUCK Glitter!
By far the number one reason for my hatred stems from the fact that I have had to completely boycott strip clubs for the majority of my life, I just can't handle it..its everywhere!
Hilarious!! And right on!
ReplyDelete